More than Thoughts and Prayers

Again this week we started a school day in the wake of a school shooting. On Tuesday, May 24, 2022 the sanctity of Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas was shattered when an 18 year old entered the building with a semi-automatic gun killing two teachers, nineteen students, and terrorizing this small community.

These events always shake us to the core. They not only disrupt the affected community, but also force us to question our systems and practices.

As an educator in her 25th year, I have come to the point where I don’t know how to react to these situations anymore. I’m almost numb to the outrage. Tired of the thoughts and prayers. Frustrated by a system that refuses to change.

The news of school shootings has impacted my entire career as an educator. In April 1999, just three years into my teaching career, the mass shooting occurred at Columbine High School in Colorado.

In the wake of that tragedy there were cries of outrage. Calls for action. Schools increased mental health staff, which resulted in psychologists and/or social workers in each building as opposed to one or two people covering the needs of an entire district. As a secondary classroom teacher, I spent many years after that checking for signs of students in need, worried about certain students, and concerned about my own safety each and every day.

And then time passed. And people let their guard down. Even though smaller incidents still occurred.

Until it happened again at Virginia Tech in 2007.

And again at Sandy Hook Elementary School in 2012.

And again at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in 2018.

So many lives lost. So many “thoughts and prayers” sent. So many voices screaming out for gun control. For mental health awareness. For all of this to end.

Then we have meetings. We engage mental health staff to provide support. We review safety procedures. We continue drills. But what we don’t do is enact meaningful change.

Why?

Because meaningful change is more than an assembly. Or a training session. Or wearing a color in solidarity.

It’s more than posting on social media. Or yelling about gun control. Or calling it a mental health issue.

What it’s not … a simple solution. Even though it should be.

The answer is not arming teachers.

Or militarizing schools with armed guards.

It’s not only about gun control or mental health. It’s a complicated fix that would involve self reflection and admitting our faults. It would involve focus that takes time, along with the understanding that it could take years to see the results.

It would involve a reckoning about ourselves that this nation is not ready to face.

Frederick Douglass said, “It is easier to build strong children than to repair broken men.” To me that means we need to be proactive, rather than reactive. That we need to raise our children, both at home and in school, to be better people.

Meaningful change means that as children grow we need to teach them how to understand and regulate their emotions, and how to empathize with others. How to deal with disappointment and defeat. How to move past obstacles towards success. For schools to do this it would take more than one assembly, or monthly lessons, or an incentive program at school. It would take parents supporting the school by modeling these lessons at home. It would it would also mean that the greater community needs to treat others the way they want to be treated. This would include building awareness not only about your own background or community, but also learning and understanding people and places that are different from you.

Yes, there are changes that could happen quickly, such as gun reform laws and background checks. We could have more access to mental health support and take away the stigma of getting help. But we also have to look in the mirror and acknowledge that we need to change who we are as a people. We need to open dialogue that builds connection and bridges. We can disagree, but also really listen and understand a point of view that is different from our own. We need to stop tearing people down, and instead let them know that they matter.

Let’s take action to build strong children so we don’t suffer the consequences forced upon us by broken men.

If you’re a classroom teacher and don’t know where to begin, I would suggest two texts to help you:

• Being the Change: Lessons and Strategies to Teach Social Comprehension by Sara Ahmed
• Not Light, but Fire: How to Lead Meaningful Race Conversations in the Classroom by Matthew Kay

Both of these texts give teachers strategies to build social comprehension with their students. They explain ways for students to identify their own identity and celebrate the identity of others. They provide teachers with tools and lesson plans to create safe spaces for challenging conversations. The will help you build a classroom community where students listen and learn from one another. Because if we create safe spaces for students and teach them how to navigate situations they don’t understand, then we will build strong children that can be comfortable in any situation. And perhaps those strong children will grow into adults that can handle disagreements and change through conversation rather than violence.

In her book Being the Change author Sara Ahmed reminds us that “As educators and caretakers of children, we often jump in to rescue them before discussions get too sensitive. We don’t always trust kids to navigate conversations with us on the sidelines. But if we set them up for success, and build in ample lessons for them to practice strategies of social comprehension, we help them construct the strategies to champion courageous conversations when hot-button issues come to the rug.” Students are not oblivious to the dangers of the world around them. Not helping them make sense of the difficult things they see will not keep them safe. Giving them the ability to process what’s happening helps them become stronger individuals.

Unfortunately, as has happened with other events before this one, time will pass and the fire will dim. But how many more lives have to be impacted before we do something different? We need to stay focused on the mission until it gets done. Because for the families of Uvalde, and Parkland, and Sandy Hook, and Columbine this tragedy never goes away.